Keep starting over
by I-Dream-With-My-Eyes-Open
Summary: The Flock was separated. Max got herself in trouble while trying to get over her loss and is stuck... Until she finally decides to move on...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay, this is one of the most random things I have written in my life... I have just finished watching the Haunting in Connecticut. Truth be told I don't think I can sleep until I let go of this story. The idea is freaking bugging me right now so.... Just tell me what you think of the story...  
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**Max POV

'Max please! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity!' Angel begged mentally, holding a brochure in my face.

"Angel, no. We have all we need here. This new house is not unnecessary."

'You're always mentally complaining about this place, I hear it. Every time. You think it's too crowded. Too dangerous. You worry,' she said mentally.

Ever since the Flock got separated eight years ago, Angel hadn't been speaking much. Nudge is no longer motormouth she's known to be. She's not even Nudge anymore, she's Roxy. The Voice is gone. Itex doesn't seem to care about us anymore. I have two twin 2-year-old sons, Nicholas Gaston Ride and Ignatius "Iggy" Ride, and a boyfriend Caleb. I still have Nudge and Angel with me but things have changed; Nudge got double piercings on her ears, tattoos covering her arms, she smokes, she comes home late; Angel refuses to speak to anyone verbally, she refuses to go to school... But that's what you get when you move into this dump of a town. It's not safe. You are always in the risk of getting raped, mugged. I don't bother remembering the name of the town but it's home.

'Max, home is where the heart is. This is not home.'

"I know, Ange, but it's the only place I could find."

'Wrong. You just moved here because of Nick and Iggy.' Thunder rumbled in the distance and I dropped the plate I was scrubbing.

"Angel, go help me close the windows..." I picked up the plate again and began scrubbing some more.

'I know you still love Fang, Max. I know you miss him and the only thing stopping you is Caleb--'

I threw the plate down. "_Enough_, Angel. Now close the windows."

'He's controlling you, Max. He--'

"I said that's enough! Just go close those god damned windows or so help me I will--" Thunder roared. I rinsed the plate and dried it up.

I thought about what Angel said --thought-- and I admit, I don't love Caleb like I loved Fang. Caleb is drunk 80% of the time but I will not separate my children from their father.

'The guy's an idiot--' Thunder roared louder this time.

"Angel, just close the bloody windows!" I heard the kitchen door open and close. I let out a sigh of relief but, just my luck, the kids woke up. I silently cursed. I brisk-walked to the room and picked up Nicholas, I kissed his forehead. Ignatius was a lot like Iggy, he's a heavy sleeper. The world could be coming to an end and he wouldn't realize. "Ssshhh, it's okay. Mommy's here."

"Momma, I'm scared."

I sighed and sat on the rocking chair. "Why, baby? There's nothing to be afraid of."

"I had a bad dream, momma. And I'm scared." Thunder rumbled in the distance and Nick buried his little head into my neck.

"Why don't you--"

"HONEY! I'M HOME!" Caleb yelled. It didn't take a genius to figure out that he was drunk. Apparently, it didn't take a 2-year-old brain to figure it out either.

"Daddy's drunk, momma." I looked down at him and nodded. I put him back on his bed and brushed his jet black hair from his face.

'I'll take care of F-- I mean, Nick. You can go take care of Caleb.' I chuckled at Angel's mistake.

It was not hard to imagine Nicholas as a younger version of Fang. He got most of his looks from Caleb who could possibly be Fang's brother. I mean, they were so alike, appearance-wise, but... They were different too. Caleb is immature, impatient, irresponsible... The only thing I like about him is... Nothing. Absolutely nothing. But as I said, no child would have to lose their father....

"HELLO? I SAID I'M HOOOME!" A crash was heard. Probably one of the lamps. "GOD DAMMIT! WHY IS THE KITCHEN LIGHT ON?" I rolled my eyes and ran down the stairs to the kitchen.

I was pretty much used to this treatment. One learns to live with it after going thought the same thing for two or three years. Or in my case, my whole life. There was always Itex and the School and all that crap.

I stopped at the kitchen door where Caleb was leaning against the kitchen counter, beer bottle in hand, staring at the lights. He took a swig of beer and looked at me. "Maxie, Maxie, Maxie," he slurred. "The light is a pretty thing isn't it?" I said nothing. "Like... Fireflies glued to the ceiling... The difference is that fireflies are a part of nature. Nature is free. However, this is man-made. MAN MADE IS NOT FREE! YOU--"

"Mommy?" A small voice called from the doorway. I turned and little Iggy was standing there. Whoops, looks like he woke up.

"'Mommy'? Did that kid just call you '_Mommy_'?" he asked furiously. "Whose kid is this?" It was obvious that he thought I was cheating on him. I'm not surprised. Young Iggy got most of his looks from me.

I shielded Iggy protectively. "He's yours, Caleb. Remember that night two years ago?" Apparently, he didn't hear me.

"You've been smuggling a kid in my house for a year and I didn't notice?" Caleb was shuffling closer towards us. "You two timing bitch!" The bottle came in contact with my face. Caleb grabbed my hair and pushed me away from Iggy. He was prepared to hit Iggy with the remains of the bottle when he froze and fainted.

I turned to Angel, who had just entered the kitchen with Nick, and asked, "Did you do that?"

"Sure, only the telekinetic can knock people out," Nudge said sarcastically. I just realized that she was behind Caleb.

Angel, noticing the situation quickly strolled out of the kitchen. "Oh... Thank you, N--Roxy."

She rolled her eyes and waved her hand dismissively. "Whatever." She turned to little Iggy. Have I mentioned that she's closer to him than she is to any of us? Apparently not. "Come here, Ig, let's fix you up." She held her arms out for him but he ran to me instead.

"Are you okay, Mommy?" He placed a soft, pale hand on my cheek then turned to Nudge. "I don't need any fixing uping." Tears spilled onto his cheeks. "Mommy, I'm scared. Daddy tried to hurt you."

I sighed and picked up Iggy. "I know, I know... Everything will be all right." I handed him to Nudge. "Take him to his room. I'll take care of everything else..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Dear Readers,**

**Sorry for not writing for a long time, yeah? It's just that I lost my FF password for quite some time and I only saved it in my 100 year old computer which my parents decided to throw away w/o telling me. Oh well. It don't matter now :D**

**All that matters is that I'M BAAAAACCCKK! (Haha. I almost typed I'm Jack)**

**~B.**

**P.S. I do not own most of the characters here!**

**P.S.S. For those who didn't give up on the story, I *HEART* YOO!**

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**Max POV

I watched silently as Nudge carried Iggy up to his room, murmuring quietly into his ear. As soon as they were out of sigh, I let my tears out. I slid slowly onto the floor, crying, tears washing away the blood caused by Caleb's beer bottle.

Angel plopped in front of me with a pair of tweezers, cotton wads and iodine. She gave me a small smile. 'I would ask if you're okay,' she thought. 'But you're obviously not.' She used the tweezers and plucked out bits and pieces of beer bottle that dug into my flesh. 'You're lucky, Max. Being drunk ruined Caleb's aim for a while. He was aiming for your eyes but thank god he only got your cheek.'

"Lucky me," I said sarcastically, fiddling with my fingers.

"Yeah, lucky you," Nudge said bitterly, entering the kitchen. Angel must have said something because suddenly Nudge exploded, "This wouldn't even have happened if--!" Her head snapped Angel's direction who was still concentrating dressing my wounds. "It _is _her fault! From _every single way you look_; it's her fault! Let's start from the beginning of the beginning shall we? There wouldn't be only the three of us if _she _hadn't gotten into that stupid argument with Fang! We wouldn't be stuck here if she hadn't slept with Caleb! Nick and Iggy would not have to suffer if she chose to leave! Why won't she leave?" Her face scrunched up and she said in a poor imitation of me, "_'Oh, I don't wanna leave because I don't want to separate Iggy and Nick from their father!'_" She began pacing around the kitchen. "Yeah right!" she spat viciously. "It's more like '_I can't leave because I don't think anyone would sleep with a 22 year old mother with two children and I'm just so desperate for a good lay!_' God you are just so selfish--!"

"You could've left all those years ago, you know," I stated dryly. "Yet you stayed."

She grimaced. "If I _didn't _stay, your precious sons would have been dead years ago."

Honestly, I was just tired, not in the mood to fight back so I eyed her lazily. "Is _that_ what's keeping you here? Well then, since you're so eager to leave, why don't you take them with you?" I smirked.

She glared at me and threw me the middle finger, marching up the stairs. Angel rolled her eyes. 'The wounds don't look that bad. I'm guessing they'll be fully healed in a few days. And about Nudge. Don't listen to her, Max. Although, I agree with--'

"Don't!" I hissed. I got up and began sweeping up the shattered beer bottle pieces. "Angel, dear, do me a favor and hoist Caleb up to my room, please? Thank you!" I yawned.

She smiled. 'With pleasure.' She held her hand out. Caleb stood up in a very zombie-like manner. Suddenly, he charged for the kitchen wall, banging his head onto the wall. Hard.

I stared blankly at Angel, too tired to glare. "Angel," I said in a warning voice.

'Whoops,' she pouted. 'Sowwee, Caleb.' She made him step back and run through the kitchen door...

That was shortly followed with a crash. Angel flinched. 'By the way,' she whispered in my mind. 'If Caleb asks, he never had a vase beside the bookshelf.' She smiled sweetly, flashing me her Bambi eyes.

"Just go," I sighed dramatically, putting my hand on my forehead. I rolled my eyes as she mouthed a thanks to me. Huh. That girl and her mind controlling powers... What am I ever going to do with her?

'Hey!' Angel feigned hurt. Then muttered, 'I say he deserves it.' I rolled my eyes and threw the trash into the bin, then picking up a cloth and scrubbing off the bloodstains on the floor.

Not long after the bloodstains were completely gone, Angel came back into the kitchen, sitting on the counter. Out of no where, she produced that brochure she was rubbing in my face earlier. 'Coldwater Creek' the front cover said. Angel turned to look at me then back at the brochure. I rolled my eyes at her and got some milk from the fridge, finishing the remnants of the carton. As I threw away the empty carton, I heard a strange whimpering sound.

I looked up and saw Angel pouting at me, her eyes wide, innocent and rather watery. "You know, Ange, somethings don't work when you're 14." Maybe they do a little bit... She sniffled and looked back at the paper. I felt my heart break a little just looking at her... Oh man. "Maybe..." She looked up, beaming. "I'll think about it," I quickly added.

She flashed me a full-blown, pearly smile. 'Thanks Max!' She pranced out the kitchen. 'Nights!' she thought to me happily and triumphantly.

"Night, Ange," I said softly before heading up to my bedroom.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note:**

**I know, it's been a REALLY long time since I updated. Some family stuff came up and couldn't use the com. So when I'm finally allowed on the computer again, I realized that the old story draft I saved here was deleted and I completely forgot what I was planning to write for the next chapter or the rest of the story so SOS peoples! I got a writers block! Please PM me if you have any ideas. And if no new ideas come by the end of October, I'll have to give up on this story. SO HEEEEELLLPPPP!  
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